The Nameless Chronicles

Eye Contact

Mr. Engineer and I had our first date/blind date last night.  It was nice.  He came and picked me up at 7pm, which means that at 5pm, I started getting myself ready.  I was hanging out in the Christian dating site website, chatting about what I knew would happen tonight and what I didn’t, and asking clothing advice.  Seeing as everyone in the chat room is more than likely having trouble finding dates, advice and interest were abounding.  I settled on a skirt and even with the heat advisory all day, I wore a little matching short-sleeve jacket over a contrasting tank top.  Apparently, I looked really good. 🙂

I was ready about 10 minutes before he arrived and when he did, he was introduced to my mom and then we took off.  We went to a fairly upscale Italian restaurant.  The food was great, we were stuffed.  Then we took off to a neat little bar downtown.  This was where things could really have taken a turn for the worse, but everything went just fine.  I couldn’t remember how to get down to said neat little bar, and he didn’t have his GPS.  We floundered a bit while I tried to pull up the address on my phone, but then he said it was fine.  We drove over to his work where he grabbed a GPS and then left.  The bar is located in a part of downtown where there are a myriad of bars and dives, but this one is a favorite for my friends (girlfriends in particular).  It has both indoor and outdoor seating and live music every night of the year, even on Christmas.  The courtyard is filled with chairs and tables and is nestled in between the buildings with their apartments stacked on top, so you get a clear shot of the night sky.  It was kind of toasty, but they had fans blowing and neither of us seemed to mind much.  We decided to head back home around 11ish and that was it. 

Nothing major, just a nice get to know you kind of hang out.  He never tried anything at all.  Never tried to hold my hand, let alone even touch me or kiss me.  I was impressed, but I’m hoping he was just nervous.  I’m Italian, so we always talk with our hands.  I would be telling him a story and reach out to pat his arm or something.  But I couldn’t do it (on purpose)…I felt like it would be breaking some hugely significant barrier.  Once or twice I slipped and tapped him, and he would look straight into my eyes and then dart them away real quick. 

 That brings me to the point of this (other than letting you know how my date went):  He seldom looked me in the eyes.  He was usually looking off to the side or at what was happening in the room.  I maintain that eye contact, as long as it’s not creepy and accompanied with villianous eyebrows and smirks, is super-attractive and refreshing.  The date went fine except for that.  He was not very romantic, never complimented me.  I fished a little for a compliment, but never got one.  I’m chalking that up to nerves as well.  I’m fairly certain that I looked great last night and deserved a few compliments.  If we continue to go out and there’s no eye contact and no complimenting, he’s out of there.  (Not saying that I need to be complimented to feel good about myself, but it’s a good way to know what another person is thinking.  To know if you are appealing to them, which I think is important.)

Well, I am off for the day and will let you know any other developments. 

Until then,



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  1. Very interesting article, thanks. Keep up the good work.

    | Reply Posted 7 years, 8 months ago
  2. * advthirdculture says:

    not because we’re compliment hogs (read: whore, lol) but because it means that a guy is acknowledging you of what you’ve done to prepare for the date, and he’s APPRECIATING it!
    ok, I’m inspired. I’ll write an entry for this! 🙂

    Ohh, and you’re totally right about the eye contact.
    Lack of eye contact? communicated “dis-interest” (is that actually a word..?) and/or lack of confidence (which is still pretty unattractive…)

    I can imagine your outfit, and I’m sure you looked super cute. In addition, if you’re personality (as you seem to explain) is outgoing and easy to talk to, laid back, and animated… people usually have no problems catching onto the energy and being able to reciprocate.

    It seems that you were putting forth 100% effort to entertain him and make this a good date… And his effort? Just driving and paying for the meal… how about acting a bit more engaged?

    Ok, not to psycho-anaylze this dude… but maybe he was preoccupied by something else? Maybe some bad/stressful happened?
    (not that it’s an excuse… but just saying that I think it’s more him than you.)

    But yes, if he doesn’t bounce back by the next date… See YA, Mr. Eng!!

    | Reply Posted 7 years, 7 months ago

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