The Nameless Chronicles


The “What Are We Doing?” Talk

We met at my place and walked over to my church for Bible Study.  Then, Mr. Engineer and I with two other couples decided to go get some dinner at a local drive-in restaurant.  As it was still early in the evening, I asked if he’d like to go up to my favorite spot in town, the fence by the local airport.  It has a single runway and only small jets can land on it.  Most traffic are single-propeller Cessna’s, whether 172 Skyhawks or 182’s, and PA-28 Pipers.

As we pulled in and made small talk the conversation began to turn more serious, going something like this:

Me:  “I had a goal that if I couldn’t marry a pilot, I’d become one instead.”
Mr. Engineer:  “Well, I’m…not a  pilot.  Just throwing that out there.”
Me:  “Hah, nope, you’re not.”
(silence for a couple minutes)
Me:  “So, what are we doing?  Are we still just getting to know each other, or are we dating?  It feels like we’re a couple, but then it doesn’t.”

Yeah, I tend to just throw everything into the open.  I don’t like guesswork, and after the last 2 weeks of thinking that he likes me pretty well and not saying anything, I got tired of waiting.  That’s a problem, but also, it was a great thing for us.  He had never really sat down and had a conversation like the one we had last night.  I was pretty surprised.  He has dated a girl before, for 4 years.  Said he wasn’t into her as much as she was into him.  But, that’s beside the point.  I may be a chatty and verbose kind of person, but what has happened to communication?!

It seemed that the intro gave us the opportunity both of us were looking for to share our own concerns and joys about being with each other.  I shared that I really did like him a lot, but I had reservations.  He shared that I’m “…ahem…awesome.” (Yes, that’s right.  FINALLY a compliment!)  But he also said that he has some reservations.  I’m going to share them, because they’re important.  Neither of us shared anything that was trivial, in my mind.  Here goes:

ME
Concerns

  1. Mr. Engineer likes to drink with his friends.  And when I say drink, it isn’t altogether just the casual drinking.  He does that, but he confessed that he has become pretty sloshed in the last few months to where he has to stay at a friend’s house overnight, or where he drove home and he knew he shouldn’t have.  My concern is that, I don’t think it’s moral to get inebriated.  My step-dad was a raging alcoholic, too.  I don’t like what it does to people.  My step-dad, at one point, which lasted for a couple years I would think, was perpetually drunk – either actually drinking, passed out, or still buzzing from a previous binge.  Upon sharing this with Mr. Engineer, he said that he really doesn’t like what it does to him either and isn’t sure why he does it in the first place.  I think this is one reason why I’ve continued dating him…he doesn’t seem to be satisfied with his current lifestyle and wants something more.  Maybe I’m in his life to share with him another path, maybe a better path.
  2. He’s Catholic.  I’ve mentioned it before, this is a big deal.  I’m Baptist.  It seems like we are on complete opposites of the spectrum.  My grandmother was raised Catholic and married my grandfather who wasn’t.  When she was in the hospital with complications during her pregnancy, the priest came to see her and told her they were caused by the fact that she married a non-Catholic.  She was devastated…in pain…and wanting hope.  A woman in a bed nearby was Lutheran and when her minister came  in, he visited with Grandma too.  He spoke such great words of comfort to her and hope that when she got out, she and my grandpa decided to go to some Bible Studies.  So, with that history, the Catholic faith has not been much welcome in my family.
  3. My last big reservation became a very minor one as he shared his concerns.  I was worried that he was uncomfortable with me, physically.  He hardly ever looks me in the eyes (although, last night, he tried to make up for that, heh) and he has never tried to hold my hand or really even touch me.  But his last relationship was a bit hard on his heart, so I realized that he’s just protecting himself, which I can totally respect…and I admire him for that.

MR. ENGINEER
Concerns

  1. I’m not Catholic.  As I said, this is huge.  He said that he and his dad have had long talks about it.  He doesn’t really understand how we are different from each other, just that it’s a big difference.  We’re going to have to investigate this a bit more before either of us are comfortable with making a decision.
  2. His last relationship was one where he fell pretty hard for the girl, and she broke it off kind of abruptly.  As such, he’s a little hesitant to get involved a lot too soon.  Not to mention that his siblings have both been in pretty terrible divorces.  He has very similar views on marriage that I do, and with his siblings’ marriages/divorces, which I think both were because of affairs, he’s having to face a lot that he’s never had to deal with before.  Therefore, he’s wanting to be really careful about who gives his heart to next.  I can totally respect that

Another concern I’ve had is that, though I know we both don’t want to do the dirty before we get married, I also don’t want to kiss until I get married.  I told Mr. Engineer about this and a couple reasons for why I’m waiting.  He said, without much hesitation, that now that he knows, it shouldn’t be a problem.  I will admit, though, that as we sat, with the birds chirping and a light breeze blowing through his Jeep, and the sun setting around us, gazing into each others eyes, it was all I wanted to do to lean over a plop a big one on him.  (That’s my third reason for not kissing…I’m not sure I’d be able to stop myself at just that.  Hah!)

Now that I know that he’s concerned about protecting his own heart, I feel better about him not holding my hand or showering me with compliments.  It will be all the more significant when he actually does, if we decide to continue on in our relationship.  I know that he thinks I’m awesome so that will tied me over until he’s read to give more.  And if I start to like him more, then I’ll have to just replay that in my mind…and the way he blushed when I first asked him about being a couple or not. 🙂


Bible Study…in a Bar?

You know how it feels when you are so totally different from the people there (or rather, you perceive yourself to be so totally different) – I felt like each person there, unspoken, knew that I was one of “those Baptists”.

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Meet the Fam!

We didn’t chat on the phone, which I’m kind of glad for. We have good convos, but I get tired of having a phone latched to my ear.

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A Choking Experience

He gave me my drink, which was held in a cheap yellow-plastic ball designed like a coconut (I think), with a pink umbrella on top.

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