The Nameless Chronicles



You’re Really Nice, But…

We’ve all been there.  Dating someone that we know isn’t really our ideal and then realizing that it can’t go any farther.  But I think the cliché lines are just that, cliché!  I can’t stand them anymore.  I’ve been fed so many of them myself that they make me want to throw up in my mouth a little.  Let’s touch on a few of them that we all know:

“It’s not you, it’s me.”

Well, of course it’s not.  If it really was you, you would say the real reason.

This is one of my regular lines: “You’re too good for me.”

I just get flat out ticked when I get this line.  Just say that you think I’m too tame for you or not adventurous enough.  It will probably point to your lack of understanding what real, mature fun should be (not beer pong and bars and flipping off cameras for your FB profile picture) or your lack of understanding of me.  If you were really getting to know me and not just looking for some play, you might be surprised at what fun can really be.

Then there are just the various brush-offs.  I’ve already shared about the “black hole” that most of my dates have found.  That’s the extreme of the brush-off move.  Others are not so extreme and are just not returning calls or coming up with mythological events or emergencies to take up any spare time.

My point is that I don’t like these and I have, slowly albeit, over the course of my dating experience, sought to be more and more honest about why I don’t want to go out with someone, or why I do.  Another thing that I have determined to have are good reasons for cutting the relationship short.  Attraction, to me, is not a good enough reason.  Time, or lack of it, is not a good enough reason.  They can be factors, but they can’t be the sole reason.

So, I may not be all that attracted to Mr. Engineer.  We may have a lot of personality differences.  There were moments when he gave me butterflies, so I’m not so much worried that we couldn’t get it together physically or that he couldn’t be the heartthrob of my life.  That isn’t the main drive of my reasoning for not wanting to continue “dating” him.  I’ve stated my real reasons clearly in previous entries and I have quite a few of them.  The biggest of which is our church affiliation.  He’s Catholic and I’m Baptist.  We talked a bit about it and decided that it would be next to impossible to maintain a relationship (which goal is marriage) without concession made on one side.  Both of thought about it and decided that neither of us could relax our ideals and so, parted the night as friends.

Friends that had only one contact throughout that week.  I checked my cell phone bill for the month.  We have the same provider and so texting and calls were free between the two of us, and I realize that I had texted others (such as family and friends), but my tracker had counted over 1000 texts.  This is seriously unusual for me, but showed me just how much both he and I were into the relationship and working to make it work.

I went through a couple days of withdrawal more than sadness and was able to touch-base with him Sunday night.  We had a nice chat and I think it reinforced my intention with him to keep each other as friends.  We tried making some plans to hang out, but both of us were going to be a little busy.  Hopefully something will come up though.

This brings me to a thought of blog post I had started just prior to meeting Mr. Engineer and never finished: Remaining Single…this will be my next entry (with luck!)

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