The Nameless Chronicles

Stay Single?

Is that even an option without a stigma?

I have two older sisters, by about 10 years, who are/have been married and have two kids each.  I’m perfectly content in throwing myself into their kids and subsequently, their kids’ kids (whenever that happens).  Also, I love my freedom to be able to do whatever I want.  The only person I really have to worry about is me and what my God thinks.

I know this may sound silly from someone who just rejoined a Christian dating site, but as I joined, I was reminded of a Bible verse in 1 Corinthians about remaining single.  I know Paul was single, if not always single, and He consistently urged his readers to stay single if possible.  One verse in particular, 1 Cor 7:34 says,

“…and the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit.”

I have read this verse before and thought, yeah, I guess that makes sense.  But I’ve never wanted to live there.  I always have thought that if I have a desire to get married, then God will give me that desire.  After all, He cares about our hearts, right?  And He does.  But does He care about them in that He will always give us our heart’s desire?  Sometimes I really desire chocolate or cheesecake, but I know it’s not good for me.  Now, I desire it.  Did God put that desire in my heart?  If not, then does He have to give it to me?

I think there’s a fine line of separation between “God gives us good things” and “God is obligated to give me what I think is good.”  I am so grateful that God does not give me everything I want.  When I was a kid, I went through the typical little girl phase of wanting to be a ballerina, a veterinarian, to have a pony, and the not-so-typical phases of wanting an elephant, to be a cartographer (yes, a person who makes maps.  I thought that meant I’d get to travel a lot) and a martyr (they get really pretty crowns in heaven…and what little girl doesn’t want a pretty crown?)  Praise God that He didn’t/hasn’t given me what I wanted!

So, just because I have a desire to have a husband at some point in my life, does that necessarily mean that it’s good?  Or that God put that desire there?  After this last dating experience, I feel even more secure in where I was before:  I am willing to date and meet new people, but I really could care less if I get married.  That may change in the future, but right now, I am perfectly content to be on my own…just me and God.  Why?  Because, on my own, all I have to worry about is pleasing God…I don’t have to think about pleasing a man as well, or caring for him and our family.  And I think that’s what Paul meant by “It’s better to be single…”  It’s better for it to be just you and God, so that at any given moment, you can move with God in a new direction with only having to uproot yourself and not a whole family.  Your focus can be entirely on God.

With that said…I’m not closing the door of relationships, by any means.  I’m still on the dating site and currently talking to a new guy.  But I am at a place in my heart where I am content with not moving beyond talking with guys and becoming friends, and let me tell you, it’s a good place to be!


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  1. The Bait and Switch « The Nameless Chronicles pingbacked on 7 years, 6 months ago


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