The Nameless Chronicles

The Bait and Switch

After Mr. Engineer and I decided that we’d do better together just as friends than in building a more intimate relationship, I made a proclamation, of something I have been feeling for some time, to myself, to God, and to some of my close friends and family.  And I really meant it.  I feel like I could be single for the rest of my life and it just be me and God until I die.  I don’t feel an overwhelming need to get married.  And I mentioned in the post right before this (Stay Single?) that it’s easier to work for God if you are single because then He’s all that you are concerned about.  You don’t have to worry about pleasing your husband and following him…you only answer to God.

Not two days after this proclamation and feeling completely content in my decision to not pursue a relationship with any man (not that I would flatly refuse if any man decided to pursue me…within reason), I get a message from a man off of the Christian dating site.  I was still going into the chat to talk with some of the friends I have made and so, my account is still open and my info’s still out there.  He said, “I love your profile and we really should talk.”  I smiled back…he looked vaguely familiar.  I checked my history and it turns out that a year ago, when I had been on the site before, he and I had exchanged a couple messages…but they ended with nothing coming from it.  I think I was a bit overwhelmed by what I found out, particularly with his past.  But this time, I don’t feel much of any of that anxiety.  I’m not sure what I’m going to call him yet…maybe Mr. Rough.  Alright, I like that. 🙂

So, Mr. Rough and I have been chatting since early last week, mostly through IM on this Christian site.  It is amazing the differences between him and Mr. Engineer.  Where Mr. Engineer was reserved and unexpressive, Mr. Rough is open and passionate.  Mr. Engineer was rather 2-dimensional in conversation, but Mr. Rough can talk about many things with interest.  Mr. Engineer has a small story (which in itself is not a bad thing), but Mr. Rough has a true vibrant testimony. Mr. Engineer was concerned with making a family and establishing a strong, stable home and bank account, but Mr. Rough  Mr. Rough compliments.  Mr. Rough loves to serve.  Mr. Rough loves God.  Mr. Rough is rough around the edges but is growing and striving to be a better man.  Mr. Rough dreams and aspires.  Mr. Rough likes tattoos.  Mr. Rough has tattoos.

I could probably go on. The point is, I don’t think I was wrong in spending time with Mr Engineer to get to know him and see if he and I could be a good fit.  I think we handled it very well.  But I think it may have been a waste of my time.  He obviously was not anything that I have been looking/waiting for.

It seems that the more I talk with Mr. Rough the more points I can check off on my list.  And I’ve been careful not to feed the points to him in case he may just be agreeing with me.  He mentions them on his own.  And I’ll be talking and share something and he suddenly says that it’s something on his list.  This is just unreal.  He’s about 30-45 mins north of me, so we’re going to try to meet up this Saturday.  I will have more information for you later and also why I have chosen to call him Mr. Rough.  No worries…he’s not a violent man and going to rough me up.  It’s in reference to his history and maybe, some things he struggles with even now.


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