The Nameless Chronicles

Lingerie, Anyone?

Well, I promised a while ago that I would share with you all the latest story of unwanted attention.  I had just started talking to  Mr. Engineer and we had our first date.  That next Wednesday, I came home from work as usual.  I have a student who I meet with soon after work but I had to grab something from my house before I went over to teach.  I’m glad that I did.  There in my box was a thick manilla envelope.  My name and address were typed and taped onto the front and there was no return address.  I order things online so I didn’t think much of it except that I couldn’t think of what I had ordered.

I grabbed it with the rest of  my mail and went inside.  The package was stuffed with something and almost bursting, but whatever was inside was really soft and squishy.  I plopped my other mail down and began opening the package.  I was thoroughly confused when I opened it and there was some fabric sticking out.  My aunt is a somewhere eccentric person and I could imagine her seeing some crafty projects of mine and thinking she’d help by sending some fabric out to me.  But this was not the case, alas.

I pulled the fabric out in two pieces and soon realized that it was actually lingerie, tasteful, but lingerie nonetheless.  I was shocked.  I held it and then threw it down when it dawned on me what I had.  I checked the envelope and there was a letter folded neatly along one of the sides.  The writing had been typed as well.  It read:

Dear [Intrepidity],  Maybe I’ll get to see you in this gift sometime.  This is a gift from your friend.

Needless to say, I was thoroughly grossed out.  When I am upset about something, I typically laugh.  It’s my coping mechanism, I suppose.  I put everything back in the envelope and hid it upstairs in my room, then took off for my lesson.  I didn’t want to have to think about it just then.  When my lesson was over, I came back home and shared what happened with my mom.  She was freaked about it and we decided we’d discuss it more when I got home from church.

I was not happy about it.  I felt assaulted….and insulted.  I don’t give my address out willy-nilly.  I don’t even let guys meet me at my place until we’ve gone out a few times (Mr. Engineer was an exception…he came with a high recommendation from a friend.)  I have dated a guy for a month or two and then finally let him come pick me up at my place.  Usually I just meet them somewhere public.  I know how to keep myself safe.  I racked my brain for who it could have been from.  My friends would know not to joke with me like that.  They would know that I wouldn’t find it funny.  My Facebook Profile information is hidden from people who are not my friends and I don’t have my address on there either.  I was drawing a complete blank.

We considered at one point that it might be Mr. Engineer, but, in getting to know him more, I decided that was very much against his character.  I didn’t put much information out on my FB about it, just in case it was someone from there.  But I planned to take everything to the police in a few days with the hopes that someone would come forward and say it was a terrible joke or something.  No one did.  So, that Friday, I took everything down to the local station and spoke with an officer.  She took my statement, the package, and gave me some advice.

And nothing else happened.  I don’t know if it was really supposed to come to me.  I’m not listed in the White Pages, and there are a few other women with my name in the area – they could have picked the wrong one.  It was mailed to me from a part of town about 30-45 mins away.  I was stumped.  Completely stumped.  But there has been nothing unusual going on since then.  I’m still on my guard and planning to take a self-defense class sometimes soon.  Oh, and the lingerie, had been bought at KMart…how could I tell?  It was  Jaclyn Smith product and as far as I know, that’s sold exclusively at KMart.  Nice taste, huh? :-/

So there’s my great story.  Hence my character check on Mr. Rough.  (which I realize I haven’t shared with you yet.  Oops!)


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