The Nameless Chronicles

Talking on the Phone

I’m not sure if I wrote about the one random guy I met on the Christian site, who I wished I had spoken with him on the phone first before agreeing to meet up with him.  In text form, he was funny, smart and seemed to agree with me on certain things that I was expecting to witness when meeting in person.  I would not have met him if we had spoken, audibly, on the phone because his voice was ridiculous, he required ample time to come back with a witty remark and he had no idea what I was talking about when I got super-excited about seeing the new Star Trek.  I was more of a nerd than he was, but he was the epitome of awkward.

I can tell you happily, that I will not have to worry about that with Mr. Rockies. 🙂  He asked me on Thursday if he could call me the following night and I said, “By all means, yes.”  So, we talked.  My sister has terrible cell-phone reception and therefore Skype was not working for us.  We couldn’t video chat, so we had to revert to the ol’ landline.  But nevertheless, we spoke on the phone, collectively, for 5 hours.  5 HOURS!  I was pretty shocked to realize that when we finally said good night and he was off to watch a recommended favorite movie.  He loved it, by the way – a guy who enjoys chickie movies (within reason)…still surprises me when I think about it.

The next day he called me without asking if he could, and it was a sweet call.  I’m trying very hard, and I think I’m doing very well, at keeping the reins on my heart this time around.  He’s really great, but we’ve only been talking for a short time, really.  So, I’m not letting myself get too attached until we can video chat or meet.  I’m hoping he thinks the same.


Equal Disclosure

So, Mr. Rockies and I had a nice long talk last night.  We haven’t yet graduated to talking on the phone or doing any video chatting.  It’s odd for me that we have said we want to work towards being more than friends, and yet he hasn’t tried to contact me on the phone.  I had to remind myself that it’s ok and not to feel slighted.  As I familiarize myself with his schedule of contact (I feel like such a girl), I can pretty much count on him shooting me a good-sized email in the afternoon and then we can touch-base on Skype somewhere in the evening.  Trust me, I totally know that he’s doing a good job of staying in touch and that it’s my girlie, probably insecure, part of me that wants to think something is wrong.

When getting to know someone, it’s hard to gauge how much information you disclose and at what time.  I decided I would just follow his lead.  I am the kind of person who has a ton of questions and want to know as much information as possible if I’m interested in something.  And the more information I have, the better able I am to come to a decision of what I want to do.  This drives my bff crazy because she’s way more emotion-driven, where I’m way more thought-driven.  We have clashed over various things from such a difference, but that’s for another blog.

So, I have to balance my insatiable desire for information and my understanding that I really don’t want to tell everything about myself right away, therefore it’s ok that he may not want to tell everything about himself right away.

Naturally in the conversation, we talked about our families and our general relationships with them.  We also talked about our churches and just a little bit about what our ministries have been in the past and what they are now.  We talked about spiritual gifts, and though I did share mine, he didn’t know what his was.  And then I brought up love languages and he didn’t share his so I didn’t share mine.  Instead, we shared what our friends’ languages are.

I feel like I’m going into foreign waters – a river where I don’t know the twists and turns, where the shallows and the deeps are – and though right now, I very much want to know all of it in one shot, the current only runs at one speed and I’m at its mercy.  So, I’m submitting myself to the joy of the journey.

And I’m Back!

What’s really funny about this post is that I was talking with a friend who reads this blog and he asked if I was going to write any new entries.  I told him that it’s hard to write in a dating experience blog when I’m not dating.  It’s been almost a year since my last date, and I’ve felt pretty happy about it.  I’m enjoying singleness, most definitely!

The irony is that I rejoined that Christian dating site, mostly out of curiosity, just for a month.  I may also have been bored.  Regardless, I’ve met some really fun people on there.  The guy I mentioned in the previous post is a new friend from there.  I don’t think we’re going to move beyond the friend mark, which is cool.  He’s really fun to chat with and I would consider him a good friend, but he’s not moving in the same direction as me – wanting to serve in full-time ministry.

But I have met others, most obviously just making the friend mark, which is one reason why I enjoy that site.  But then, one guy and I began exchanging emails, fairly regular and fairly hefty ones.  I’m not sure what I would like to call him yet…but I should have something soon.  We had met in the chat and I noticed that we had a ton in common – he’s of Asian heritage, and I have a ton of experience with Asians; we have the same sense of humour, similar talents and interests – he even dislikes Google, but has given in to what he calls unavoidable exposure.  But we joke about it being one of the ten horns of the devil in the end times (not 100% serious about it though…just out of humor).  We both have hilarious cross-cultural/language faux-pas stories and similar drives for our lives.

So, yesterday afternoon, I hadn’t heard from him all day, and it was my birthday.  I was feeling just a tinge dejected.  He was on Skype and didn’t even IM me to wish me happy birthday.  And then, I got an email from him, with one of the corniest birthday greetings and a link to an even cornier animated birthday song video.  I didn’t even finish reading the email and just about died laughing.

And then I went on to the rest of the email and was a little surprised and pretty pleased – he said that his birthday gift was that he wanted to be more than friends and wanted to know what I thought.  So I sent him a message, first of laughter for the video and then a big “yeah!”  But I told him that I wasn’t ready to definitely be more than friends, but I really wanted to get to know him more to that end.  He lives pretty far away (I’m in the mid-west and he’s in the Rockies), so we’re planning on taking things slow, but I’m fairly excited about the prospect.

I think that’s what I’ll call him, Mr. Rockies.  That’s great. 🙂

Almost 27

The problem with being single at almost 27 is that I am more readily meeting great men who are divorced already or have a child.  I would never have thought that I would ever have to debate getting involved with a divorced man or even a father, but it’s happening more and more.  I’m talking with one such man who fits both categories.  It makes me sad in one regard, but then I remember how much change God can have in a person’s life and I think, “I should be able to extend just as much mercy and grace to him as God has.”

What’s frustrating to me is that I have never been inclined toward motherhood.  And yet, this guy could be perfectly compatible with me except that he has a young daughter.  And yet again, I may not have to.  Regardless, it’s something that God has been laying on my heart to think about.

I had a conviction a while ago that if God told me to, I should be willing to adopt a child.  I think adoption is one of the most beautiful things on earth, and though I don’t think I am equipped to be a mother, I think there is a huge amount of grace when you are an adoptive parent.  But what is the difference between adopting a random child and marrying someone with a child already?  As I look more closely, I can’t see much of a difference.  The only thing would be that the child is blood-related to one parent and not the other, which might make things difficult, or might not.  But really, having a child from any source is a toss-up.

Any thoughts on this?  At this point, I’m not considering anything seriously, just brainstorming and preparing my heart for a possibility that had before been disregarded.  I’d appreciate input.

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