The Nameless Chronicles

Category Archive

The following is a list of all entries from the Bygones category.

Pick-Up Lines and Carriage Rides

One of my favorite pick-up lines was from a guy in college.  I was enjoying a lunch in the cafeteria when he came up and said, “I got in a wreck last night. Wanna come see my car?”  I couldn’t say no to something like that, now could I? I was impressed to find that he had indeed been in an accident, but it was followed up with a request for a first date.

I love first dates.

We met up at the college, so he wouldn’t have to drive so far to my place (or see where I live) and then headed down to the nearby major city on the river.  This was during my “There’s nothing to do in this nearby major city on the river” phase, but he managed to find something fun for us to do.  I can’t remember where we ate, it might have been a typical Sat night restaurant like Fridays or Applebees.  It was the after that was pretty fun.  We parked under one of the hotels downtown and went for a walk.  I enjoy being right downtown – especially in the lead-up to Christmas.  Everything is decorated, lights are everywhere, even the fountain square seems to be lit up, especially with the ice-skating rink.  He asked if I wanted to skate, but I blamed my ankles for not being able to handle it and narrowly avoided a super-embarrassing evening. 

Next, he surprised me with a ride in one of the many horse carriages that went around the downtown area.  I’ve always been a little leery of them, what with their whole uber-romantic cliché vibe around them, but it was a nice gesture and it had been ages since I had ridden in a carriage (Mackinaw Island…so much fun).  As we got in, the woman driving the carriage hands my date a blanket and says, “You’re not going to propose to her, are you? I like to know these things ahead of time.”  To which, I blush profusely and he replies, “Well, if I was, I wouldn’t now!”

After our ride and laughing about the awkwardness of the driver, we head over to a cafe that he frequents.  I was grateful for something warm to drink after riding in the carriage and riding in his car that had been in the accident (the heat didn’t work so well).  On our drive back, he decides that he can confide in me and give me some of his deepest, and darkest, secrets.  I’m not sure what leads people to do this sort of thing, but it happens to me all the time: whether on a date (first date), the check-out line of the grocery store, waiting room at the car shop, etc.

He proceeds to tell me and sob about how his brother’s friend had molested him when he was a young child.  I had no idea how to respond.  I listened carefully and gave as much supportive encouragement as I could.  What was really eerie to me was that this was not the first confession of this sort to be made to me, within the three months prior.  I had actually had two very close friends tell me something similar, and it was shocking each time.

I don’t think he knew what to do with himself after that date because the fizzle happened on both sides.  We never went out again and he left the college within the next year.



One of my favorite awkward guy memories is that of Rezzie. To be honest, my friends and I have called him Rezzie for such a long time that I can’t remember his real name.

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You Are Hearby Charged with Three Counts of Proposal

I’m sure a lot of girls would love to have this problem. I’m not one of them.

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The Year Book – Minus a Few Years

You spend recess going through all the grades above you and yours to talk about the cute boys and giggle like a pack of rabid geese.

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The First True Love

Our dates included theme parks, the zoo at Christmas, romps at the park, birthday parties, sleepovers, all with chaperones, alas.

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