The Nameless Chronicles


Flashback and Facebook

It is amazing how much our lives are affected by Facebook.  Just a few weeks after Mr. Rockies and I stopped talking (sadly, even though the thought was we could remain friends), I began to receive more comments on my Facebook posts from a certain gentleman I hadn’t really heard from in years. I began commenting back and then we began FB chatting and one thing led to another and we’re engaged! Hah, just kidding!!

Back story:

We’ll call him Mr. Wisley, after the gentleman caller of Jane Austen from the movie Becoming Jane, because he seems to have been a shy flower taking time to bloom. I know, corny…I’ll abstain from further corny comments, if at all possible.

I’ve been at my place of worship for just about 15 years now. As such, I’ve become very close to the people there.  B is not really one of those people, but as unmarried women were dwindling in our circle by the time of her engagement, it’s no surprise that she asked me and my best friend to be bridesmaids. I was very surprised at the time, but as I further reflected on it, it seems logical and logic is what rules my brain and heart, so that’s that.  So as we spent time together and she was all afluster with the joy of romantic bliss, she offered to set me up with a long-time family friend, Mr. Wisley.

I have never really been one to turn down a blind date, so I said “yes.” He came and picked me up at my work, we went to a seafood restaurant, chatted and then he dropped me off. Beyond that, I can’t remember anything else. To the best of our knowledge, that was 5 years ago. Maybe we both just needed to grow up a bit. I know I did. As I think about it, I’m sure the fault was mine. I have had some pretty dumb expectations about who I would date. Yeah, I would go out on a blind date with a random guy, but if he didn’t pass muster by the end of it, there was little hope for him.

But as we’ve been talking and getting to know each other better, I’m finding out that there really isn’t much that would have kept me from wanting to date this guy again…except that he’s a year younger than me. Big whoop, at this point. We’re both closing in on 30 now and I’ve lost my drive to be picky on that point.

Amidst our chatting, my grandma was admitted to the hospital and then taken to hospice and then she died. I wasn’t super-close to my grandma, but it was/is still hard and being in the immediate area, I was very busy with family things. I began to think that he would shy away from asking me to go out with him out of respect for my situation, so I decided just to be open and quite a bit more forward than I normally would.  He was very much interested in going out…again…and we even decided on the evening after my grandmother’s funeral. Trust me, she would have been overjoyed for me to go on a date and I know she’s in a better place, so there’s limited mourning.

I’ll post more about our “first” date after a bit, but suffice to say, I’m hoping he sticks around for a while. 🙂

Advertisements

He’ll Be Gone, Really Gone…

Well, a week after Mr. Rockies boarded a plane and headed back to the mountains, I received the first phone call from him saying that the distance was too hard and he wanted to just be friends.  At this point, I was unaffected. Rather, I was fairly glad that HE made the call and I didn’t have to.

From the moment he got off the plane, he wilted. I don’t know what his problem was. I chalked it up to nerves initially and tried to convey that I was comfortable with him, but it was to no avail.  He had retreated.  All his big talk of being a hugger and even the subsequent discussions of whether we should become more than just friends – nothing would induce him to even hold my hand until we sat in the airport and I leaned over and said “Now would be an appropriate time for you to hold my hand,” to which he responded by taking my hand and then sitting awkwardly like he had no idea what to do now.

But we did have a great time together, as very good friends. But all the drive behind it was gone for me as I couldn’t pull him out of his shell at all.  A girl can only initiate so many limp hugs before she gets discouraged and retreats herself. Not only that, we took a long road trip to the wedding of one of his friends and he slept the whole way. Nearly 10 hours in a car, one way, and limited conversation because he couldn’t stay awake…nor decide to help me stay awake as I was driving the whole time.  I was not a fan.

So, when the call came, I was relieved. And that closes his chapter in The Nameless Chronicles.


The Family

My mother informed me last night that of my three sisters, she’s least pleased with me right now.  This is a relatively new position for me to be in. My eldest sister is usually the one in trouble with mom.  My middle sister is almost always right smack in the middle, where’s she’s used to being.  And I’m usually the one on top.  So why the change?

Well, I decided to finally tell Mom about Mr. Rockies.  Given that he is planning on visiting me the second weekend of October, I figured she ought to know.  He’s staying at my friends’ house, since they have a spare room, and I’d like the input of my friend’s husband since guys often notice things about other guys that gals don’t.  We’ve got a good radar system, as women, but guys just see each other differently.  My mom also has a vacation planned that weekend, so since she wouldn’t be here, I figured she ought to at least know about him.

I resolved not to tell Mom until absolutely necessary, and I’m not really sure that it was absolutely necessary to tell her at that point. Maybe now would be the right time.  Too late now.  I’m the baby, by about 10 years.  I’ve dated, but nothing very serious.  Since I met Mr. Rockies online, that makes it all the more awkward and tense.  Over the last few months, though, she has mentioned that it really isn’t all that strange to meet someone online and start a relationship with them.  I’m beginning to realize that she meant for someone else besides me.

I live with mom right now, not altogether willingly, but she lets me stay there while I get my school debt whittled down without many other expenses.  The socio-emotional situation of having two grown women in the same house, both with strong wills and independent spirits (I am my mother’s daughter), makes for an explosive way of living at times.  Right now the temperature is below tepid – more below freezing.  Think “boiling water thrown in the air and turning instantly to snow” cold.  We just don’t talk about it.

Mr. Rockies sympathizes.  He’s equally, maybe more-so, worried about sharing with his family about me.  I debated asking if he’d be willing to chat with my mom, Skype with her, but then I thought better of it.  The next day, he offered to do just that.  My heart melted a little.  He’s such a good guy.  I told Mom and she said ominously, “If I talk with him, YOU won’t be there.”

The crux of the issue is not so much that he’s coming to visit, nor that I met him online.  The big issue, I totally understand, is that after he is here for a couple of days, we’re going to drive to the near-East coast for a friend of his’ wedding.  A 10 hour drive, which will be done in my car, with me behind the wheel, through the beautiful northeast, excites me.  Regardless of how Mr. Rockies and I feel about each other after the couple of days he’s on my turf, I’m looking forward to the trip with him.  We’re staying at a friend’s parent’s house while there and plan to have a great time.  I’m really looking forward to it.

I completely understand my mom’s and my sisters’ nervousness, but I’m not being unwise about this.  If I don’t feel comfortable with him throughout the first couple of days, then I’ll nix the roadtrip.  I’m also planning to talk with this parent we’re staying with and I’m getting all the addresses of the places we’ll be to leave with family/friends.  Right now, though, all the drama is on my family’s side.  Soon, it will be on his side as well.  Hopefully, my family will have time to relax a bit and get comfortable with the idea before we have to deal with the other side.  Goodness know what will go on.  Oh, and I still have to tell my dad.  Oi!


Intro: Mr. Rough

His story was, sobering, though. He honestly thought that after he shared the details with me that I would be out the door. But as I said, everyone has had their own share of turmoil and everyone has made mistakes. Some might be a bit more loud than others and the consequences greater, but we all can be changed (or what point is there in being a Christian?)


Stay Single?

When I was a kid, I went through the typical little girl phase of wanting to be a ballerina, a veterinarian, to have a pony, and the not-so-typical phases of wanting an elephant, to be a cartographer (yes, a person who makes maps. I thought that meant I’d get to travel a lot) and a martyr (they get really pretty crowns in heaven…and what little girl doesn’t want a pretty crown?)

(Click on title to read more)



%d bloggers like this: