The Nameless Chronicles

Pet Names and Perception

Over the last week or so, Mr. Wisley has taken to calling me names. Not the bad kind, the great endearing we’re-moving-forward-in-this-relationship names. They make me giggle every time he uses one. He seems to be trying different ones out before settling on a standard to call me.

As mentioned in the previous post, it started out small and simple. He’d call me Miss [insert last name]. He’s said “Yes, ma’am,” lady, etc. The non-emotional labels. And then I threw out a “m’dear.” I use this pretty generally, and universally. I put it in texts and Facebook comments to guys and gals alike. But it’s also pretty handy as a temperature gauge for a new relationship. He didn’t cringe at it. In fact, he countered with “sweetie,” which can also be semi-ambiguous. “Sweet dreams, sweetie.” “Have a good day, sweetie.”

And then came a “darlin’,” and I followed with a “cutie.” He’s called me Sunshine in the morning. I like that one. The other night he said “my lovely,” and I was sure that we had crossed a line there. Not in a bad way, just made it passed an indicator in the relationship. He laughed it off and said that I call him “m’dear” all the time, which is just about the same thing. He had a point, so I set it aside into the Raise-Your-Eyebrow-and-Think-About Pile.

This morning, upon waking up, he texted a “Good morning Sweet Pea!” At this, I just called him on it. I’ve been pretty good at sticking to my “m’dear” and keeping labels as ambiguous as our relationship is right now. I asked if he is trying out names for me and he joked that he might be.

His work schedule is kind of crazy and his next evening free will be this Thursday and then he’ll be kind of inaccessible for a week. I’m treating my grandpa to dinner that afternoon, so I offered for him to come join us (my grandpa won’t mind at all – the more the merrier) and then go catch a movie afterwards, if he thought he’d be interested in that. He agreed and said he was looking forward to it. I’ve never had dinner with a grandparent and a guy, so this guy is getting all kinds of Firsts with me. I sure must like him. (Aside, I showed my grandpa a picture of Mr. Wisley at Christmas and he commented that he looked like himself when he was our age. Quite interesting!)

I told him to get some sleep, since he had been working all night, and called him “Babe.” He jumped on that right away, calling me Sweet Tart. I communicated that I’m not really a fan of that one. I think I’m going to take “Babe” back from him until he’s earned it more…like by actually saying we’re together.


These are Dates, Right?

I’m in that funny position where you aren’t completely sure that what you’re doing is dating or not. It looks like a date. Smells like a date. Sounds like a date. Pays like a date. What’s a girl to do?

My mother gets free tickets to a huge Christmas light display each year and so I told Mr. Wisley about it and he was all game. Actually, he had said that he had never been, which shocked me and so I told him that he didn’t have a choice, he was going, and I was taking him.  But that was on a Monday night, and this was Friday. And so I mentioned how our young adults group at church was having a Christmas party that Sunday and would he like to come? He said he would and I nervous and jittery inside. I’ve said it before – my church is my holy place, my family, an intimate part of my life.  I kind of thought he’d be busy with something at his own church, but he wasn’t and fully intended to accept my invitation. Plus, we were already planning to go out the next night. Two nights in a row with the same guy?! Unheard of in my book!

So, I told my friends and they were all excited. Turns out I was going to help lead music that night – not to add any OTHER pressure to the evening. I was all afluster. And the day came, and it was a blast. I was nervous most of the time, but I introduced him to my people, he chatted freely with them. We sat next to each other during the service, when I sat back down after singing he leaned over and whispered “That was awesome!” And I melted a little bit. Since neither of us had anything going on that night, I asked if he wanted to drive around and look at Christmas lights. So we spent an hour and a half driving around and checking out just about all the Christmas lights my town had to offer. We chatted about different parts of houses we liked, different things about Christmas with our families and just a bunch of things. It was such a sweet time.

So, we had one Seems-Like-A-Date, then another one and this now makes #3 Seems-Like-A-Date.

The next night, he came to my house and met my mother – another yikes moment for me. I had come home from work and Mom asked if I thought it’d be awkward for him to meet her in her nightgown. *blank stare* She wears a thick gown all the time around the house. I’m used to it, so I don’t always catch how awkward it is. I told her that it probably would be. She marches upstairs to change complaining about how I don’t think about her at all and only think about this hunk of a guy. I told her she shouldn’t have asked me then if she didn’t want my answer. Apparently this asking a question expecting a different answer runs in my family. When Mr. Wisley and I got to the restaurant, I told him about the fiasco and he just said, “Uh, thank you…that would’ve been awkward.” My brother-in-law, who has been in the family for almost 15 years now, still gets weirded out when she is in her gown and having them over. Her mother does it, but her mother’s also 87.

We had Japanese food and decided that, while I love it and directed him to the least shocking dishes they had, he is not a fan. I’m a bit bummed by that, but it’s not a huge deal. Then we headed downtown to the light display! It’s located in the zoo and you can see most of the animals inside their buildings when you walk around. It was rainy though and that wasn’t nearly as much fun. He let me “check in” there and tag him in the check-in too on Facebook…so people officially knew that we were together that night. We got a couple pics together too, in front of Swan Lake, and he said for me to load them on Facebook and tag him. This kind of behavior is totally foreign to me. So I did! My boss “liked” the photo…of all people. Yes, I’m friends with my boss on Facebook. Not my best judgment call.

And, so he bought dinner, I took care of the light display. We bought matching mugs in the gift store. Seems-Like-A-Date #4.

We had to wait a week to get back together since Christmas was now in play. He had two days of festivities with his family. My family got together on Christmas Eve and then it was Mom and I in our house on Christmas Day. It was nice though, and he and I texted each other throughout the day to keep each other updated on our respective church services, gift-givings and celebratory activities. And then, yesterday, I was to drive up to his place and we were going to watch a movie together – at his place – alone – at his home – where he lives and sleeps – by myself. I’m going to tell you something quite shocking. I’m 27.5 years old and I have never been to a man’s house by myself. It was quite intimidating for me, but I was determined to get over it and not let my nerves dictate how I enjoyed myself.  I arrived right about lunch time and we grabbed some grub from the Way of the Subs and then snuggled into the couch for some movie watching. My choice – a classic Christmas musical which I have been watching since my childhood. His choice, which followed almost immediately after my movie was over – Cars. And we both had a great time. And we didn’t cuddle, he didn’t try anything with me, he didn’t even hold my hand. We just sat very close with our arms by each other for the duration of the movies and then, chatted a bit and I was on my way. No hug goodbye. No determined physical contact.

Seems-Like-A-Date #5.

Within a month, I’ve gone on more dates than I have in the last 3 years. Well, they sure seem like dates, except for one thing – we’re not together. I’m not very good at hanging out with a guy just by ourselves and not being in a relationship. I would really like some clarification soon. But I made the deadline within myself – February 1st. Can I wait that long? His brother called while we were watching movie #2 and all Mr. Wisley had to say was, “I’m watching a movie with Intrepidity.” No further explanation required. The cousins of his who I know had been over at his parents house on Christmas Day and he texted me “Hello’s” from them. He invited me to an event at his church this next weekend, which I had to decline because of a Christmas party with the other side of my family. But then we made plans to do something the following day, New Year’s Eve. I’ve never had plans with a guy on New Year’s Eve! Granted, he has to be at work before midnight, but it’s still pretty significant, right? Am I the only one totally confused?

If not, I think he might be the other one.

Here comes Seems-Like-A-Date #6.

The Second First Date

You seldom get a chance to do something over in life. I’d venture to say that you never get a “re-do,” but in this case, I have had the rare opportunity for just that: a second “first” date with a guy five years later. The circumstances were a little odd though – reconnecting through Facebook, nearly a week after my grandmother had passed away and the day of her funeral. I don’t think it was inconsiderate to make such a plan on the day of her funeral. She was always asking me if I had met anyone and I’m sure she’d have been excited to know that I was meeting up with a guy who was so promising.

We met up at an almost-mid-point city and went to the artsy First Friday event. We were both fairly surprised at how much was going on since this almost-mid-point city has a reputation for being on its last leg – it’s the dog you think is about to die each time it coughs. But there was a great turn out and the casual atmosphere and so many things to talk about made for a nice “first” date.

And then we spent the next week texting each other. That night, we actually decided that we should meet up again and soon. Within a week, he came and picked me up at my office and we drove down into the big city on the river, saw an Omnimax movie about the historic passenger train through the Canadian Rocky Mountains (absolutely beautiful!) and then downtown to grab some grub. In the center of town, there’s an ice skating rink set up and horse-drawn carriages going by and a beautiful Christmas tree with masses of lights hanging from the branches. I love it. And then we headed back home. An early night, I wasn’t sure if we should sit in his car and chat, or if he needed to get back home, or what was expected. (I don’t get 2nd dates so very often)

We had talked about him having broken up with a girl recently (which I found out to be June) and him still being a bit hurt by it. He’s playing it safe. Enjoying getting out and spending time with someone other than her and his family, but not sure yet if he’s ready. I’ve been in this position before, of sorts, with Mr. Rough, if you remember. In that case, I was daft to keep waiting for him. In this case, I think it’s reasonable to let him have some time to decide. We only really know what we put on Facebook about each other, and while we tend to be pretty honest people, we do leave a lot off our walls. After talking about the circumstance of the break-up a little more, I decided that I would give him until the first of February to make a decision. If he doesn’t by then, it will be my time to ask him what he’s thinking. I think that putting two months into a relationship with a guy is enough time for both of us to decide if it’s what we want, but I don’t want to be the one to make that declaration. I’ve been clear with him that I like him and that I’m waiting on his lead – boy, is that hard!

When we got back to my office, I noticed that a light had been left on. I said goodbye to him, ran inside and shut it off. When I came back out, he was still waiting there. I knocked on his window and told him he was a good guy and thanks for waiting. You don’t find guys like that very often – at least ones who are still single. What in the world was that girl thinking in giving him up? Perhaps what I was thinking 5 years ago?

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