The Nameless Chronicles


Maybe I’ve just been ready for a relationship. I’m tired of waiting and of “dating” guys just to find out they’re not what I’m wanting or needing. So, I’m not altogether surprised, but definitely amazed, at how quickly Mr. Wisley and I went from acquaintances to dating to “in a relationship.” Yep, it’s even on Facebook now, much to the joy of our friends and family. It took about two months, from the time we started chatting again to last Friday when we decided that we wanted to take on the label “boyfriend” and “girlfriend.” It’s been ages since I’ve worn that label and it’s a little itchy, pulls in a couple places, much like getting a pair of new shoes.

But I’m enjoying the way it makes me look. Apparently, I have a full grin plastered to my face most of the time. He seems to be doing well with it too. I asked him what changed between when we met to now since he was pretty insistent that he was going to go into this slowly, still holding on to feelings for his ex and not wanting to lead me on. He said that before, he was still thinking about her a lot. But now he doesn’t think about her at all. And he wasn’t sure if we could work out, but now he thinks we can. That last bit, he said while looking deep into my eyes and I melted a bit.

I would like to know more, but I don’t want to push him to say too much before he’s ready. Right now, we are just really enjoying each others’ company. Now we need to figure out the healthy balance of seeing each other too much and too little. I have discovered that physical touch is much more of a big deal to me than I originally thought. I’m the one who reaches out and takes his hand. I’m the one who bumps into him and puts my arm in his. I was the one who snuggled up next to him while watching a movie. It’s not that he’s against it – I think he just doesn’t know what is allowed yet and maybe, it’s just not his inclination if we’re out in public.

Tonight, I’m going up to his place to watch a movie and hopefully not getting frozen in. And tomorrow night, we and my two best friend couples (so four people) are going to have a game night – a great chance for them to get to know him and him to get to know them. I am really hopeful that they all like each other. He’s met one couple, but we haven’t had a chance to really spend much time together. I believe that we’ll go see his parents on Sunday after church and then we’re planning to have lunch with my dad and grandpa on Monday.

Think it’s going a bit fast? I would love some input.


Pet Names and Perception

Over the last week or so, Mr. Wisley has taken to calling me names. Not the bad kind, the great endearing we’re-moving-forward-in-this-relationship names. They make me giggle every time he uses one. He seems to be trying different ones out before settling on a standard to call me.

As mentioned in the previous post, it started out small and simple. He’d call me Miss [insert last name]. He’s said “Yes, ma’am,” lady, etc. The non-emotional labels. And then I threw out a “m’dear.” I use this pretty generally, and universally. I put it in texts and Facebook comments to guys and gals alike. But it’s also pretty handy as a temperature gauge for a new relationship. He didn’t cringe at it. In fact, he countered with “sweetie,” which can also be semi-ambiguous. “Sweet dreams, sweetie.” “Have a good day, sweetie.”

And then came a “darlin’,” and I followed with a “cutie.” He’s called me Sunshine in the morning. I like that one. The other night he said “my lovely,” and I was sure that we had crossed a line there. Not in a bad way, just made it passed an indicator in the relationship. He laughed it off and said that I call him “m’dear” all the time, which is just about the same thing. He had a point, so I set it aside into the Raise-Your-Eyebrow-and-Think-About Pile.

This morning, upon waking up, he texted a “Good morning Sweet Pea!” At this, I just called him on it. I’ve been pretty good at sticking to my “m’dear” and keeping labels as ambiguous as our relationship is right now. I asked if he is trying out names for me and he joked that he might be.

His work schedule is kind of crazy and his next evening free will be this Thursday and then he’ll be kind of inaccessible for a week. I’m treating my grandpa to dinner that afternoon, so I offered for him to come join us (my grandpa won’t mind at all – the more the merrier) and then go catch a movie afterwards, if he thought he’d be interested in that. He agreed and said he was looking forward to it. I’ve never had dinner with a grandparent and a guy, so this guy is getting all kinds of Firsts with me. I sure must like him. (Aside, I showed my grandpa a picture of Mr. Wisley at Christmas and he commented that he looked like himself when he was our age. Quite interesting!)

I told him to get some sleep, since he had been working all night, and called him “Babe.” He jumped on that right away, calling me Sweet Tart. I communicated that I’m not really a fan of that one. I think I’m going to take “Babe” back from him until he’s earned it more…like by actually saying we’re together.

New Year’s Eve

I have never had a date on New Year’s Eve.  Yes, this 27-year-old woman has never, in all her life, had a legit date for New Year’s Eve, and I guess you can count this year as a toss-up. I’ll let you decide. Leave a comment.

Mr. Wisley and I had decided to get together on Saturday, but I didn’t remember that it was New Year’s Eve.  We were talking about being excited to see each other on Saturday, and he reminded me that he would have to duck out early for the night to get to work. Darn plant for not closing on New Year’s. We started deciding what we should do for the time we would have together.  My thought was a nice evening, just the two of us, going out to eat, or to see a movie. Something where we could work on our cuddling skills – not yet tested out. He told me that his friends from church were having a party and that he “should bring me.” I was more than willing to meet his friends and see what they were like in person. He then said that his brother would probably join us for the whole time as well. Not to worry, he’s his best friend, so that’s a big deal as well. I said I’d be more than happy for him to join us. And I honestly was.

We decided that I would drive up to him. He told me that he was concerned about me driving all that way by myself, on such a night, and it warmed the cockles of my heart to hear his concern for me. I assured him that I would be fine, especially since I would be heading home much earlier than when all the crazy drunk people would be out. And so, I got myself all snazzed up in a pair of jeans. My eyes looked killer, I’m just saying. I drove up and he met me at the door. No hug greeting – I don’t think I should be the one to initiate that…and he doesn’t seem compelled, especially with his brother in the room. I sat with his brother for a bit and chatted while Mr. Wisley finished getting ready. I had heard a lot about said brother and had been looking forward to meeting him, both to make a new friend with a fun person and to get the “family” stamp of approval.

We went to Chick-fil-a for dinner, had a sweet little meal together. Drove to Best Buy and walked around, looking at fun gadgets. I think my official approval was received when I said that I enjoyed BBC’s Top Gear. Mr. Wisley and his brothers are gearheads and have been totally impressed that I can hold my own in a discussion about cars, even though, I really have a minimal understanding of things mechanical. We continued on to the party.

Which ended up a flop. It turns out the people at his church smoke and drink – a fair amount. We sat in the living room, which was sparse because the renter was moving out soon, while the rest of the people moved through the apartment from the back porch to smoke and the bathroom to finish getting prettied up. And so, most of the time was spent the three of us, sitting there, talking with each other, having a great time despite the “party” and very loud rap music. Mr. Wisley apologized to me for the lack of activity and for their behavior, which I assured him wasn’t bothering me at all. I don’t like smoking. My step-father was a smoker, and I think it’s a disgusting habit. But these are his friends, and I wasn’t going to turn my nose up at them. He can’t stand smoking either, and neither can his brother, which I was glad of.  But Mr. Wisley was probably thinking, as I was, that we could have sat and chatted as comfortably at his place as at this party. But they were nice people. I enjoyed chatting with them and I think they liked me.

We had to leave right as they began to really get into their party mode, a full two hours after we arrived. Walking out to the car, Mr. Wisley and I were joking about something or other, bumped into each other and I took the opportunity to slip my arm under his. With just 5 steps before reaching the car, I was elated, and completely unsure of what he thought about it. We got back to his place, his brother headed home and Mr. Wisley and I chatted out by my car before I took off and he had to get ready for work. We gave each other a hug goodbye and that was that.

I asked him later that night if he had been ok with me holding his arm and he assured me that he was totally comfortable with it. He decided that, since he would be so completely tired in the morning and miss his church service, that he would come to my evening study with my friends. We went out to dinner after that and when walking to and from the restaurant, he tucked out his elbow for me to grab on it. I just love walking with a guy like that. He took me back to my place and we sat and chatted for an hour or so before he had to leave back to his place for work.

I don’t know when we’ll get to see each other again. My evenings fill up now that the winter break is over. He will have a couple of days off before going into 2nd shifts, which means that his time is pretty shot for a week. I know I can’t wait. He’s taken to calling me sweetie, darlin’, and last night, “my lovely.” It makes my heart melt, but I definitely called him out on that last one. “Your lovely?!” I said. And he joked that I call him “m’dear” quite frequently and so it was much the same.

I can’t peg this guy.

The Family

My mother informed me last night that of my three sisters, she’s least pleased with me right now.  This is a relatively new position for me to be in. My eldest sister is usually the one in trouble with mom.  My middle sister is almost always right smack in the middle, where’s she’s used to being.  And I’m usually the one on top.  So why the change?

Well, I decided to finally tell Mom about Mr. Rockies.  Given that he is planning on visiting me the second weekend of October, I figured she ought to know.  He’s staying at my friends’ house, since they have a spare room, and I’d like the input of my friend’s husband since guys often notice things about other guys that gals don’t.  We’ve got a good radar system, as women, but guys just see each other differently.  My mom also has a vacation planned that weekend, so since she wouldn’t be here, I figured she ought to at least know about him.

I resolved not to tell Mom until absolutely necessary, and I’m not really sure that it was absolutely necessary to tell her at that point. Maybe now would be the right time.  Too late now.  I’m the baby, by about 10 years.  I’ve dated, but nothing very serious.  Since I met Mr. Rockies online, that makes it all the more awkward and tense.  Over the last few months, though, she has mentioned that it really isn’t all that strange to meet someone online and start a relationship with them.  I’m beginning to realize that she meant for someone else besides me.

I live with mom right now, not altogether willingly, but she lets me stay there while I get my school debt whittled down without many other expenses.  The socio-emotional situation of having two grown women in the same house, both with strong wills and independent spirits (I am my mother’s daughter), makes for an explosive way of living at times.  Right now the temperature is below tepid – more below freezing.  Think “boiling water thrown in the air and turning instantly to snow” cold.  We just don’t talk about it.

Mr. Rockies sympathizes.  He’s equally, maybe more-so, worried about sharing with his family about me.  I debated asking if he’d be willing to chat with my mom, Skype with her, but then I thought better of it.  The next day, he offered to do just that.  My heart melted a little.  He’s such a good guy.  I told Mom and she said ominously, “If I talk with him, YOU won’t be there.”

The crux of the issue is not so much that he’s coming to visit, nor that I met him online.  The big issue, I totally understand, is that after he is here for a couple of days, we’re going to drive to the near-East coast for a friend of his’ wedding.  A 10 hour drive, which will be done in my car, with me behind the wheel, through the beautiful northeast, excites me.  Regardless of how Mr. Rockies and I feel about each other after the couple of days he’s on my turf, I’m looking forward to the trip with him.  We’re staying at a friend’s parent’s house while there and plan to have a great time.  I’m really looking forward to it.

I completely understand my mom’s and my sisters’ nervousness, but I’m not being unwise about this.  If I don’t feel comfortable with him throughout the first couple of days, then I’ll nix the roadtrip.  I’m also planning to talk with this parent we’re staying with and I’m getting all the addresses of the places we’ll be to leave with family/friends.  Right now, though, all the drama is on my family’s side.  Soon, it will be on his side as well.  Hopefully, my family will have time to relax a bit and get comfortable with the idea before we have to deal with the other side.  Goodness know what will go on.  Oh, and I still have to tell my dad.  Oi!

Meet the Fam!

We didn’t chat on the phone, which I’m kind of glad for. We have good convos, but I get tired of having a phone latched to my ear.

(Click title to read more)

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